Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

A big part of achieving ultimate success with women you truly desire comes from understanding of the concept of “frames”; the overall guidelines through which you present everything else you do.

I truly believe that understanding how to fit all of your thoughts, actions, responses and ideas with women into the right frame…the frame of NEVER supplicating, begging or “asking”, but instead, offering challenges, structuring opportunities and eliciting/evoking processes is the single most important key to making every other aspect of your success with women at least three to four times more effective and powerful.

A student asked me this question:

> Is a frame just anything that can make people see things differently? So how do you CONTROL the frame under those circumstances?
>
> Essentially, the idea is you are supposed to hold a given point of view – “I’m testing to see if I can find someone who measures up to my standards”. Sure, that makes sense. But it still doesn’t leave me feeling like I understand the whole process. It is doesn’t leave me feeling like I could create a different frame for a different circumstance.

RJ here.  The frame, among other things, is the underlying, UNSPOKEN set of assumptions about WHO holds the power, WHO has what is of value, WHO must please WHOM.

Let’s chunk this down.

She says something like, “I just can’t find a guy who can treat me like a lady”.

An AFC would ask what she means and then act as she describes. She has set the frame that SHE is the prize who must be one.

We Speed Seduction® Masters turn it around, “Yeah, I know what you mean. I can’t find a lady who can move me past LUST into TRUE passion…you know…where you aren’t just feeling hot and sticky in the moment..you don’t just give all that you have…but you find things coming forth in you that you never knew were there…just waiting to be satisfied.”

You see what I mean? That’s just one example.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Want to learn how to present in a way that is much more receivable to the feminine psyche and mind…receivable in a way that just lets it slide right in…deep into the place where her wildest fantasies spring to life and action, with you?  Get my Frame Control and Sexual Themes course and claim your 16+ hours of teaching on this topic now.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Could you refer to yourself through a metaphor and have the woman understand it unconsciously as something that represents you?

Like, using this example a student brought up:

“Have you ever been to a museum and you see this beautiful painting in front of you (create a frame with fingers around face) and you just… enjoy looking at it… so much that you want to… take this painting home with you?”

His question: if he continued talking like that, would her unconscious mind understand that he was really talking about himself?  Or would it just create a weird anchor, like every time she would see a real painting she would think of him?

See, this is actually a very good technical question. 

First of all, while all humans think in metaphors and all humans are responsive and receptive to some degree, it varies from person to person, depending on:

• How well the metaphor matches to an experience they’ve had or imagined having.  As an example, if I talked to you using the metaphor of a paramecium moving towards nourishment, it might not ring your bell.
• How suggestible the person is, in general. Some people are hyper-suggestible, right out of the chute.
• The degree of rapport you have with that person already
• Her motivation to respond. If the metaphor is embedded inside of a communication that offers her something she really wants it will have more power.

For example, if I offer to teach a woman something about how she can feel more passion, the metaphors I use within that demonstration are going to be more readily accepted because they are tied in with something she deeply wants.

That all said, I’m not 100% on this painting metaphor.  Here’s the thing:

• I doubt many people, aside from all you art conoisseurs out there, have looked at a beautiful painting and wanted to take it home with them! I get what this student was driving at: he wants her to look at him, see him as beautiful, and take him home. But for most people, seeing a beautiful painting moves them powerfully and then that is it. They are on to the next painting! (which sometimes translates to “Exit, Stage Left!”)
• I doubt she’d think of him every time she saw a painting.

What would work better?

Ask her about where she finds beauty in life – the experience of something beautiful that really moves her. Use HER responses and anchor them to YOU.

See the difference?  See how this ties more into experiences she’s had or imagined having, how it’s something she feels passion for?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Speed Seduction® 3.0 teaches you how to use your language to create states of attraction, lust, fascination and utter desire – and do it so she thinks it’s her idea!  Click here to grab your copy right now.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Sometimes it’s the seemingly softball questions that really get my creativity flowing.  A student asked me:

“So Ross, how do you suggest us newbie’s work our way to mastery?”

Wow. If I were to map it out, I would divide it up like this:

1) Understanding. This means you understand HOW women create their emotions. You get that the key is:

• Women already think and talk to themselves and to others in the Speed Seduction® Language. Meaning the “patterns” and such aren’t something I just made up. They are reflections/restatements of the way women think ALREADY. And that is why they work.
• It’s most important to think in terms of what emotions you want women to feel-what emotional states you want them to be in when they think about you. Get the emotions flowing first and the actions you want her to do will follow.
• Think of womens’ psyches/minds/personalities as a big ship with many smaller compartments. You want to activate/energize those “compartments” that contain her emotions/feelings/imagination for escape, fascination, connection, desire, indulgence, arousal, daring etc.

2) State control. You learn to control your state. That means you develop a good working relationship with uncertainty, confusion and frustration as well as being able to create and design more pleasant, “positive” states like confidence, certainty, etc.

State control isn’t just about how you are when you are with women. It’s about how you are when you review your progress with women, the mistakes you made, the things you did right etc.

3) Rehearsal and practice. You learn a good strategy to rehearse how you want to sound, look, act, re-act. You rehearse this outloud before you go out. You then go out and practice IN THE WORLD, as much as you can, whenever and wherever you can. 

4) Designing your vibe and meaning. You get that the meaning you give your practice in the world is important. That “sarging” women is best viewed as a fun way to improve your skills, not a “do or die” mission that you MUST succeed at. The meaning isn’t, “I hope this works” or “What if I fail?” The meaning is, “Let’s go have some fun and see what I can do in the world with this person.”

You learn to design a vibe that is grounded, out-ward oriented(instead of attending to the dialog in your head) and willing to f@@k it up and have fun.

5) You get the most useful orientation. This means that first and foremost:

• You always notice what has worked, what you are doing right. You do not allow yourself to look at mistakes, feel frustrated etc UNTIL YOU FIRST ACKNOWLEDGE everything you are doing correctly, even the smallest step or element.
• You develop an action orientation. This means when you feel stuck or don’t know what to do, YOU TAKE ACTION IN THE WORLD instead of trying to figure it out in your head. You let your experiments, over time, with repetition and multiple trials, tell you what really works and what you can do.
• You realize the world has no guarantees other than dying, so you determine to design your life and make it worth remembering, rather than let your past, your peers or even your present situation tell you who you have to be, what you can do, and what you can enjoy.

6) You develop a practice that allows you to see where you have been going wrong, without being upset or believing you have to be that way anymore. The practice gets to the point where you see the mistaken/old ways of thinking and acting BEFORE you do them, so you can correct course BEFORE you hit the rocks. In other words, you have a meditation practice.

7) You get the best goddamn coach and guide in the world – that would be me.

Any questions?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. One of the fastest ways to get me is to join my Coaching Program which includes live interaction – “Ask Me Anything” group coaching sessions as well as one-on-one office hours.  Get me fast, get me good, get me live, get me now – click here.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

More than once I’ve heard from students who have been learning the skills, gaining knowledge of the techniques, but yet, they’re still not moving forward with women like they want to be.

They get pumped up about going out and Sarging, yet somehow nightfall comes and each flip of the TV remote brings up another hourlong excuse to say “Let me just catch this one last episode, and then it’s up and at ‘em!”

Before you know it, you may be “up and at ‘em” but everyone else has gone home.

“Shucks…maybe next weekend.”

If your a$$ feels like a giant magnetic field inexorably held onto your couch while you find every non-excuse possible to avoid going out and getting some a$$, read this:

1) First, bear in mind that learning skills can be a matter of breaking the task down into smaller pieces.

So why not just break the task down into seeing if you can approach ten women and the only goal is to make them laugh? You don’t even have to introduce yourself. Just make them laugh and walk away.

Try this, “Excuse me… but I was just wondering what you are doing to keep the guys away… cuz it’s not working on me. My name is Charles.”

Then walk away. That simple.

2) When you talk to yourself about it, acknowledge and them take ownership.

Like this, “I feel stuck and I claim my ownership and management of this stuckness to the point where I find my ways to get moving and enjoy getting moving.”

3) Give yourself a larger penalty for not acting than acting.

Think of an organization you hate. Like Greenpeace or PETA or the NRA or the Republican or Democratic Party.  Whatever DOESN’T float your boat.  I personally hate televangelists, so I’d make out a $1,000 check to Geronimo Goo-Gargle Ministries. Give the check, dated 10 days from today to a trusted friend. Tell him if you can’t return to him within 10 days, and honestly tell him that you’ve spoken to 10 women, he’s to mail it to the cause you hate.

This way your mind will say, “Ok, there is no totally 100% pain free solution, but the pain I’ll get from not acting is far worse than acting, so I’ll act!”

This takes advantage of the fact that our mind uses comparison. Compared to a guaranteed way to be 100% comfortable and 100% certain you’ll succeed easily with every approach, the pain of approaching women might seem like a lot (until you claim your ownership and management). But compared to sending $1000 to an asshole like Rev. Goo-Gargle, the pain is NOTHING.

A better way to watch TV on Saturday night…AFTER sharing
“Adventures On The Cape Carnal-Veral Shuttle” of course!

These are just some ways to get yourself moving.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Oh yes, here is one more. Try going out of town to another city where no one knows you and do your practicing there for a weekend.  Let me know how this helps.

P.P.S. If you are still stuck, check out my Nail Your Inner Game system, designed for situations exactly like this.

I care what happens. Once you get moving, you’ll breakthrough fast.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

A couple weeks ago, I issued a challenge to all of my students.  To repeat:

From now on… for the next 60 days… you will not get or accept a phone number, nor make a plan to later see/spend time with a woman until, unless and AFTER you and she have made out for at least 10 minutes.

How many of you are doing this?

Here’s a perfect example to illustrate why you must stop “getting her digits” and “asking her out” on “a date”.

A student reported this experience with a woman, and I’ll let him tell you in his own words (the names are changed to protect the innocent):

> So, I wanted this bisexual black HB 9 to hang out with us tonight. She verified her number when I ran into her last night, and said that she wanted to pick up women with us.
>
> I call her and leave her this message: “Hi Debbie, this is Dick Dickerson. I’m not sure if you’re the type of woman to be fun and adventurous enough to hang out with us and meet some beautiful babies tonight, but if you are, call me at XXX-XXXX. We’re going to be at X area all night. Bye.”

His full Sarge report contains more detail that can all be summarized in one sentence: They texted back and forth a few times that evening but she never showed up. 

So, listen:

Someone like this moves toward whatever is most stimulating in her environment in THAT moment, whatever it might be. She’s not reliable and can’t make plans and seldom thinks beyond the next few hours.

You either f@@k this kind right away, or not at all, or serve as their attention supply when they are bored, lonely or feeling alone.

SHIT CAN IT and move on.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. It’s only September 30.  There’s still plenty of time to guarantee 2011 will be YOUR “Year Of Tremendous Tight Trim Triumph!”  Crack open the giant vault of “private label”, insider-only lessons and teachings inside the Speed Seduction® Secret Training Collection NOW!

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

You are really going to love this wicked clip from the 3.0 Course.

This is a short clip-about a minute 30-but it demonstrates the combined power of:

1. Using her trance words
2. Anchoring (in a way that she can’t catch or resist)
3. Using sexual metaphor to accelerate her responses
4. Using vague language to assist you in closing the deal!

You’ll gain insight on how to use all the tools in combination, working together. And you can do it in about 4 minutes of conversation.

God, I’m good.

Please let me know what you think of the this clip in the comment section below…me, I’d appreciate it!

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. The real genius of the Speed Seduction® 3.0 system isn’t just the suggestive language – it’s also the clever way in which it’s structured to seem like a perfectly ordinary conversation!  Click here to learn more now.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

In the initial phases of seduction, a little “tension” can be good.  “Give her a little of what she wants, then pull back and make her work for more” is a generalized way of putting that.

But what if you’re the kind of person who, when shown affection or appreciation, responds with higher levels of the same?  What if you do so to the point where the other person gets burned out on your presence?

This can be challenging indeed when resisting the urge to be affectionate is difficult, or otherwise no fun.

So, what to do? 

I would say, first and foremost, get a full experience of the actual physical feeling of giving affection and apreciation.

What is the feeling flow in the body?

Pour all of your attention into that, turning off the internal talk and imagery.

Every few seconds, note out loud if the feeling is the same or if it is changing.

Feelings can change in many ways: intensity, shape, duration(short bursts or long waves), direction of flow, continuous or separated by patches of empty or much lesser intensity.

Do that for a couple of minutes.

This will give you great awareness so that when the feeling/urge begins to arise you can have awareness and choice.

Also, look at how much of your desire to nurture, give affection is done because it is more comfortable than say, being commanding or aggressive or strongly sexual.

Don’t get me wrong; you can be tender and affectionate in your sexual expression too.

And, above all, look for women who will lap it up. There ARE women who want kindness and connection and safety rolled into and surrounding and perfusing through their sexual connections.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. The “same and changing” technique is taught at our live seminars, along with numerous other live, interactive, get-hands-on-now demonstrations and exercises.  To get your hands on over 60 hours of this kind of teaching, instant-access, in the comfort and privacy of your home, click here.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

One of the biggest questions we get from students once they actually start going into the field and getting experienced using the tools and mastering the skills has to do with anchoring.

How do you capture her vibe, figuring out what moves her and motor-vates her, so that with just one gesture, word or suggestion you can bring it back at will?

One student of mine shared a story about a lunchtime meet he had with a woman who made a point of taking him to her favorite cafe and buying him a slice of their “famous” cheesecake.  She wanted him to experience the cheesecake and know how good it was.  (AHA!)

He asked her to tell him how she felt when she ate it. She got extremely excited, trying to get him to feel the feeling.

Challenge: he couldn’t quite figure out how to “anchor” that excitement so he could draw upon it at will.

Actually, it’s pretty simple:

Just tap something; tap your fork on the table or against your other hand.

But then LEAD the conversation: “I think you learn so much about people by learning where you FIND YOUR PLEASURES-me…it teaches you so much more when you learn how a person WANTS TO INDULGE…Debbie.

See how we put in suggestions and commands?

“Like, my friend likes to ask people; if you could go somewhere, where no one knew who you were…and nothing you did would get back to anyone who DID know…what kinds of things could you PICTURE YOURSELF DOING…me…I can’t help but THINK OF THAT QUESTION, from time to time.”

Etc etc etc.

See how easy this can be when you know where you want you and her to be going?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S.  Did you like that example? Want a whole lot more?

Get your hands on over 60+ hours of my latest, greatest teachings by claiming your access to over 50 (no, make that 60) hours of real and raw footage from my latest four (actually FIVE) seminar.  Includes lots of “Ross plays with girls” demos so you see egg-zactly how it’s done.  Grab the Speed Seduction® Total Immersion 2011 Seminar Footage Collection now.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

One of the premises that I lay (haha) down for my students is that there are four vibes that women find appealing.  A key to effective Sarging is knowing when, and how, to shift these vibes.

Watch this video (where our Chief Furball Officer, Tazzleberry Cat, makes a cameo appearance):

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. This video lesson is ripped right out of the Speed Seduction® Secret Training Collection, where you’ll find more than 120 laser-focused lessons like this one, plus dozens of hours of coaching call recordings, bonus courses, and e-books you cannot get ANY-WHERE else.

Click here to learn more, crack open the vault, and claim your Virtual Vaginal Victory in 2011.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

One of the ideas I keep returning to is this: “I seldom take a woman’s first response to me as written in stone. It is almost always just a reflection of what she is thinking, feeling or believing in that moment, and almost always subject to change.”

Now, this idea is central to my skills with women, and not just in the initial approach.

It also applies to that dreaded but common female syndrome: Last Minute Resistance (or LMR).

(If you’ve ever been getting it on with a girl, making out like crazy and suddenly she appears to grow fearful, cold or uncertain and stops you with a “This is going too fast” or something along those lines, you’ve experienced LMR.)

I Had Her Buck-Naked, And Dripping Like A Leaky Pipe,
When She Suddenly Brought Up The “Boyfriend”

So let me tell you about this one weekend where I had a lovely lady in my hotel room and we were both in our birthday suits getting all hot and bothered.

I pulled her to the corner of the bed, slid on my “Willy Wonka Wrapper” and had her legs in the air when she pushed me away and said, “No … My boyfriend. I just can’t do this to him.”

Now, listen: I had no idea this lovely lass even had a “boyfriend” as it had never even come up before this moment. So all of you absolute moralists who want to write me hate mail, feel free-but you are as wet as she was on this one.

What I Did With Her “LMR” That Had Her Hopping
On My Turgid Meat-Pole

Immediately, I stopped what I was doing and lay down on the opposite side of the bed from her, to give her some space and diffuse her discomfort.

“Hey, I understand,” I said. “I don’t want to do anything that we aren’t both comfortable with and I want you to be certain, YOU WANT TO DO THIS.”

(By the way, I meant that. If she was not certain, I was no longer interested. I never force, pressure or push women-it’s disgusting and low-class. I’m a seducer, not a brute.)

Then a thought hit me.

“How about if I put on my shorts? That should take off the pressure” I said.

So I jumped up and dramatically pulled on my boxers, which got a laugh.

“Tell you what, let me get dressed completely.”

And that’s what I did. I got fully dressed then lay down on the bed, while she was laughing hysterically the entire time.

“Wait a sec,” I said. “Let me put on my coat. That should help you feel extra secure.”

So I did exactly that, and buttoned it up too.

By this time she was in hysterics, laughing. She kept saying, “Stop, stop! You can take your clothes off if you want.”

But I wasn’t done.

“Let me put on an EXTRA pair of pants. That will really render my c**k harmless.”

And that’s what I did-I took a pair of pants I had draped on the couch and pulled them over my jeans.

“There,” I continued. “Now you are really safe. But I’ll get under the covers while YOU stay above the covers and don’t think about sex.”

At this point she was crying with laughter and said, “You are sooo funny. God, I’m turned on again.”

Then She Did Something That Shocked Me

In between gasps of laughter she managed to blurt out, “This is really turning me on.”

Then, I kid you not, she spread her legs wide, spit on her fingers, and diddled herself dripping until she moaned out, “F-me”.

And so I did – after all, a gentleman doesn’t refuse a lady’s amorous requests, however crudely worded.

What Are The Lessons You Should Learn

Let me summarize the essence of my adventure:

1. Sometimes a woman’s objections may feel very real to her. I don’t think this girl was faking her temporary distress.
2. If she is uncomfortable at any point, don’t go pressing on. Pressure is for brutes and the clueless. Stop and give her space, physically and emotionally. Seducers NEVER pressure, although we do test boundaries. The difference can be subtle but the difference is sometimes quite clear.
3. A master seducer improvises. I had not ever used the “put your clothes on in exaggerated fashion” move before.
4. By taking her need for safety and exaggerating my response, it allowed her to dis-appate her anxiety through laughing her ass off.
5. Fractionating a girl between starting and stopping and starting and stopping really works. If you don’t do it, she’ll often do it to herself and stop herself. Throw laughter into the mix and you have a potent poonani pulling cocktail.
6. “Boyfriends” often mean next-to-nothing.

Peace and piece,

RJ

P.S. From now on, forget about ever again being confused by a woman’s emotional 180s, her fluctuations between wanting you and pushing you away, her last minute buyers remorse, contradictory signals, sudden loss of interest and other up until now deeply frustrating and seemingly irrational actions.

With what I teach you throughout my Speed Seduction® 3.0 System, you’ll remain calmly in control as the effortless seduction architect of every interaction and situation.

Get Yours Now!